The Tree Squeak – Jim Dover tells a tale

It was at a camp out to the Drivas property on the Waupaca River we were sitting around a camp fire. A breeze that had cooled a mid-August day moved some branches of a nearby tree. The branches cause a loud squeak as they rubbed against each other. This must have reminded Jim Dover of a tale he knew from his home in Missouri.

As the campers burned their marshmallows on the coals of the campfire Jim took off his belt. “Here” he said, “take a look at this belt, maybe rub it a little so you kind of get to know it.” The belt was passed around and each camper wondered what was different about it. After each camper had handled the belt Jim stood up and put it on.

“That there belt,” he said, “come off a dead man. He'd been killed ‘cause he was careless. I was the one that found him in the woods. This here nice belt was on him. I says he's dead. He don't need it any more. So I took it. Anyone who goes out into the woods when the Tree Squeaks are talking has got to be just plain dumb. A Tree Squeak jumped from a tree and wrapped about his face and suffocated the dumb flatlander. Any of you ever heard of a Tree Squeak?”

None of the boys ever had and questioned Jim if there was such an animal.

“Well, that's why I called the dead man dumb. He was from a city where the Tree Sneaks don't live. So he being a smart ass didn't take no precautions. Just because no one says they never see one don't mean that there aren't none. They live in all the forests in this country and some places where there's just a few trees, you know like here.

“A Tree Squeak looks just like a bump on a tree limb. They's just look like tree bark. You'all can look right at 'em and never see 'em. Most of the time they are just layin' on a branch or sticking to the side of a tree. The only time you can tell they are around is when they make out the loud squeak you just heard here.

“You know that there is a Tree Squeak around when you look up into a tree and see a branch that has no bark on it. Some will tell you that it is just a branch what died and the bark fell off. Maybe they know that a Tree Squeak is living in that tree and don't want to scare you. Or maybe they don't like you perticually and hope the Tree Squeak gets you. You see all a Tree Squeak ever eats is bark. Of course you can be dumb as that dead man whose belt I got and walk under that tree with the branch without bark. Just maybe the Tree Squeak has left to eat bark off another tree or maybe he is a bump on the tree.

“So here's how it works. You don't look up to see a branch what all the bark is gone. You walk under the tree. The Tree Squeak gets afraid you are there to kill it. It makes plans to get you first. It waits until you are just right under it. Pay loop it drops on you and wraps tight around your face. You fight to get it off. It don't come off and you can't breathe. When the Tree Squeak knows you’re a goner, it slips back up the tree. Somebody comes and drags off your carcass. The Tree Squeak don't get the guy what drags you off cause it don't want your carcass left to stink up his tree. The coroner looks over your remains and can't find no reason you cashed in and writes heart failure on the death certificate. No one blames the Tree Squeak and it remains hidden in plain site on a tree.

“Once in a while a person says they seen one on the ground with a flashlight at night. That is probably a make up story as the Tree Squeak stops dead still if it gets a light on it. You see if it moved in the day you would be able to see it. I have heard of people tripping on them at night and falling but the Tree Squeak can't get around their face so it just stays as stiff as a stick.

“I hope that you looked at the trees here very carefully so you know which ones have branches without bark on 'em. That squeak we heard lets us know there is one here. When you get up to pee tonight be sure it is not under a Tree Squeak, Manny would not like it if we brought you back to camp after a Tree Squeak got you.

“Just thought I'd tell ya about something most people don't know about. What you all think of my belt?”